things you never wanted to know about...so you thought...

September 13, 2008

not sad but not happy me

a couple of thoughts:

i was going to end my blog.  but people mentioned reading my blog so i decided if people were reading, then i will still write nonsense on this thing.

kickoff next weekend is at 12 o'clock.  that should be illegal, and hold a stiff punishment for whoever made such a dumb decision. 

last two weekends i have had people that are close to me call me out on my character, for lack of a better word.  it hurts and and i guess i should try to change myself...but i have no idea how to be anyone other than me.  both the good and bad.  i'm not perfect..i'm just me.  guess i'll still give it a shot at making a conscious effort to make myself better....even if that means sitting in the house and doing nothing cause that's really the only thing i can think of doing.

i talk.  it's not some new thing i've just learned.  probably talk too much some times and too loud.  for some people i talk too slow.  for some people they probably hear too much of what is going on in my head, and not enough silence.  i do try to be aware a lot of times if i think someone is getting sick of hearing me, and even when i question that i still continue to talk.  i'm not really clued in to what others might think of me.  if i spent my life doing that, i'd be way too concerned with being the person others want me to be.

i just chose a movie on my tv on tnt on demand.  is that free or will a charge show up on my cable bill?  if it's free...then that is pretty cool.  i'll let you know when the bill comes.

not really a good blog.  my heart has been made heavy and reading all this psychological stuff for school has made me more in tune with my inner self.  i don't like it one bit. 

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